Reports of my death are greatly exagerated...

19 replies [Last post]
Offline
Joined: Jan 23 2005
Posts: 595

I think it was Mark Twain who once said, "reports of my death are greatly exagerated." How fitting that I would choose to begin this post with a quote; I once used quotes quite extensively. I'm sure that the editor of the local rag (Sarnia This Week) will be pleased to know that I didn't look this one up in my Oxford Dictionary of Modern quotations. Tongue

Anyway, I suppose this is not exactly the appropriate forum to make such an announcement but I'm so anxious to get this off my chest that I'm not going to be particularly selective. There was a reason why I began this post with the Mark Twain quote on reports of his death as it ties in nicely with the subject of this post.

If I may take the liberty of borrowing the above quote from Mark Twain, I would like to stress that reports of my wanting female companionship are greatly exagerated. To cut a long story short, I am as gay as the day is long and I'm coming out of the closet.

I suppose that certain "Gods" may have some rather amazing video footage that they'll attempt to use to prove me wrong... Or at least that's what I hear. Ya know, their video footage and five dollars might get them a value meal at McDonalds. Tongue

Anyway, I'm glad to finally be coming out of the closet and I feel that a tremendous burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Smile

Smile; Life is Beautiful Smile

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Offline
Joined: Dec 26 2003
Posts: 584
Here we go again...

Congrats on getting the courage up to come out...

But... Be careful who you decide to tell and don't allow people to go around telling everyone. It seems to free you at first, but after a while it just gets a bit creepy, and the wrong sort of people can find out, which in some situations can create new enemies... Just be careful. Liberating though it seems, it can turn into a bad thing.

Reverend Darkness's picture
Joined: Dec 20 2003
Posts: 502
Re: Report

Quote:

...as gay as the day is long...

You made Pepsi come out of my nose... I'm sorry, but that's just funny to read...

Congrats, though! Never be afraid to be yourself. To use another cliche type quote, "Those who matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter."

__________________

When I see lightning, you know it always brings me down... because it's free, and it's me who's lost and never found.

Offline
Joined: Dec 26 2003
Posts: 584
˘

I can tell you based on personal experience that not being afraid to be yourself isn't a good idea all the time.

It sucks, but it's true; there are some real piece of s*** people in the world, and a lot of the time blending in with the scenery is the only way to avoid trouble.

I'm not against the "coming out" thing of course, as long as it's 'handled' responsibly.

moosemanmoo's picture
Offline
Joined: Aug 17 2004
Posts: 686
Great!

It's actually a somewhat funny coincidince that you say this now - I came out, IIRC, exactly a week ago. It is a liberating experience, and everyone has been positive about it. Best of luck to you in the future.

__________________

Join the chat on irc.freenode.com, channel #applefritter.

Offline
Joined: Jun 30 2005
Posts: 88
Good!

Some people don't have the guts to "come out of the closet". Congrats!

__________________

"Look! I wrote foul language on the wall!" Poppycock!
"That ink is water solible"

Family Guy

doug-doug the mighty's picture
Joined: Apr 14 2004
Posts: 1355
kinda sorta maybe...

...at the risk of insulting/offending the gender conflicted, I am a gay AND I am a woman trapped in a man's body. (Guess those kind of equal out, huh?)

This does explain my inherent love of women, plaid, beer, and Hustler.

Kudos to those who are proud of who they are. Much love to those who respect others for their differences.

__________________

--DDTM ('Fritter Critter' since Apr 26 2004 - 18:16)

'If it ain't broke, take it apart anyways. If you can't take it apart, break it so that you can fix it.'

Reverend Darkness's picture
Joined: Dec 20 2003
Posts: 502
Being yourself...

Quote:

It sucks, but it's true; there are some real piece of s*** people in the world, and a lot of the time blending in with the scenery is the only way to avoid trouble.

Dude... I'm a practicing pagan minister in one of the most evangelical Christian counties in the Great State of Texas... I know a little bit about bein' different (not as much as I would were I a gay black jew, but a little.)

I don't go around advertising my faith, but I will answer questions honestly when asked. In four years, I've only had one person ask me how it felt to be balancing on the edge of the burning pit of Hell. (whoop, there goes the Pepsi out of the nose again... I laugh every time I think of that...)

I just meant that it's better to be happy with who you are rather than hide it or lie about it. I don't expect 'managed resistance' to walk around with a "I'm here, I'm queer" T-shirt or anything... Just be honest.

But that's just me... I'm also the guy that used to weat pinstripe pants and Hawaiian shirts - a la Ace Ventura - simply because it was different.

Anyway, managed, stay true...

__________________

When I see lightning, you know it always brings me down... because it's free, and it's me who's lost and never found.

Offline
Joined: Jun 30 2005
Posts: 88
Re: Being yourself...

"But that's just me... I'm also the guy that used to weat pinstripe pants and Hawaiian shirts - a la Ace Ventura - simply because it was different."

Did you burn those or do you still have them. Tongue

__________________

"Look! I wrote foul language on the wall!" Poppycock!
"That ink is water solible"

Family Guy

Offline
Joined: Jan 23 2005
Posts: 595
[quote]It sucks, but it's tru

Quote:

It sucks, but it's true; there are some real piece of s*** people in the world, and a lot of the time blending in with the scenery is the only way to avoid trouble.

So you've been to Sarnia? Wink

Actually, in this town, you'd have to replace the word "some" with the word "many". This town is as backward as they come. This town seems to have a strange fascination with 19th century. We'd all be riding horses and taking callgirls upstairs at the local saloon if this town's occupiers had their way.

That's how I think of Sarnia: not as a free and democratic town but as a town that is occupied by some bastardized mutations of what appear to be people.

Sad, but like you said, most definitely true!

tmtomh's picture
Offline
Joined: Dec 20 2003
Posts: 568
Kudos to you both

MM and MR, best wishes to both of you. Word03 is correct that there are lots of nasty folks out there, and you should definitely take his advice to be savvy and situationally aware - but overall, don't let that rain on your parade! Smile

Best,
Matt

Offline
Joined: Jan 23 2005
Posts: 595
[quote]MM and MR, best wishes

Quote:

MM and MR, best wishes to both of you. Word03 is correct that there are lots of nasty folks out there, and you should definitely take his advice to be savvy and situationally aware - but overall, don't let that rain on your parade!

Thanks for the support. Smile

I know that it sometimes causes problems when you're in a situation where it's a matter of "dare to be different" but I feel that it's better to be yourself than it is to be a phoney.

If a person is truly comfortable with who and what they are, it really makes little difference what others think and say. Often times I find that the only people that will make a huge fuss are those who are themselves insecure. That's the way I approach things here in Sarnia, I just consider the source of the criticism and its intended purpose, and the majority of time I can shrug it off.

However, there are times when lines are crossed and criticism becomes more than criticism. In these times, it is not sufficient to shrug it off or to "turn the other cheek" as the case may be. There are times when a call to action must be made and a firm stand taken. It is not the strong that rise to every challenge, it is the strong that know which challenges must be met.

In almost all instances throughout my life, I have endeavoured to resist the temptation to bring unnecessary conflict. I will not, however, resign myself to being or becoming a mindless, lifeless android that must conform to the will of the vocal minority. Nor will I resign myself to a fate that does not rest squarely within my grasp.

Again, I thank you folks for your support. It is these kinds of responses that remind me why I use the Macintosh: It's celebrated difference.

themike's picture
Offline
Joined: Jul 21 2004
Posts: 455
Congratulations on coming out

Congratulations on coming out. It's one of the hardest things to do. Just out of curiosity, how old are you? I came out when I was 16.

__________________

dream it, think it, feel it, be it

Offline
Joined: Dec 26 2003
Posts: 584
16

So did I. Smile

Offline
Joined: Jan 23 2005
Posts: 595
Thirty three...

Quote:

Congratulations on coming out. It's one of the hardest things to do. Just out of curiosity, how old are you? I came out when I was 16.

I am thirty-three years old and I am male. I am not a female stuck in a male body like DDTM either. I am a 33 year old gay male.

I almost came out five years ago (December 1999) when I visited my family physician but it didn't work out quite so well. I agree that acknowleding that you're gay is difficult to do but I can't imagine that it will be as difficult as being pressured into something that I just don't want: a heterosexual relationship.

There's a bunch of arrogant a-holes spreading all kinds of crap about me and I've had enough. It's time for them to put their money where their mouth is and crawl out from the rock they've been hiding under.

I wish that I had had the courage to have come out when I was sixteen but, in all honesty, relationships really had no appeal to me while I was in high school. I was more interested in computers (Atari) and really paid no attention to what my peers were doing. Essentially, if it didn't involve computers, I wasn't involved.

Now I'm a thirty-three year old man and I have other things to consider. I have a future to ponder and prepare for, I have battles that have gone on far too long and I have a score to settle.

In a nutshell, that's the story.

Jon's picture
Jon
Offline
Joined: Dec 20 2003
Posts: 2804
Not to start flames or incite

Not to start flames or incite nastyness in the threaed, but I'm more respectful of you coming out at this age than those who come out as teens. I know that the attractions that people feel vary, and some might be sure of their orientation at a young age, but you've at least given it the test of time and not gone for the brazen rebellion of youth against society. I'm not saying that you youngin' are just being rebellious, but many of the younger people I've met who are out tend to also be fully rebellious and anti-society. Most of the older people I've met are much more level and less reactionary to the world. Don't tke this as an attack on you youngin's, as I've never met any of you personally so I don't have any cause to make that argument against any of you. I'm just saying that age and time tells all in better light, and thus earns my respect more.

FWIW, I'm just as bugged by those who are vehemently and vocally homophobic. Those that don't want a gay person to even talk to them for fear of being subject to their attraction. The few times I've had the attraction pointed my way, I've been flattered as much as if it were a woman, and I just set them strait on there being no return of attraction. That generally goes a long way better than the "Get away from me you freak!" most people would give in that situation.

__________________

I am not in this world to live up to other people's expectations, nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine. - Fritz Perls

themike's picture
Offline
Joined: Jul 21 2004
Posts: 455
No offense taken, at least by

No offense taken, at least by me. I respect your opinion, I think we would all be a little better off if more people thought like you.

The only reason I came out when I did was yelling in my sleep during class. When I woke up, my friends asked me about it and I couldn't lie- I try not to ever lie about myself. If I had my choice, I would still be in, and wait. I would have liked to tell everyone at once, and I don't plan on telling my parents until I'm 18.

__________________

dream it, think it, feel it, be it

Offline
Joined: Jan 23 2005
Posts: 595
Dreams

Quote:

The only reason I came out when I did was yelling in my sleep during class. When I woke up, my friends asked me about it and I couldn't lie- I try not to ever lie about myself. If I had my choice, I would still be in, and wait. I would have liked to tell everyone at once, and I don't plan on telling my parents until I'm 18.

Wow, that's a weird way of coming out. I'm not being critical or anything, I'm just saying that your way is certainly unique.

Anyway, on the subject of dreams, my dreams tend to have less to do with reality than anything. Perhaps, subconsciously, you wanted to let people know that you were gay. I dunno, I'm no psychologist or anything, I'm just offering an uneducated guess based on the unique situation that you found yourself in.

I've read quite a bit about dreams when I was younger because I seemed to have insanely bizarre dreams at times. I guess I was looking for meaning in science or something. Anyway, I discovered through my research that dreams are essentially meaningless. They're basically just random thoughts that your mind attempts to put together and rationalize while you're sleeping.

It could very well turn out that you're not gay at all. At least not if your basis for believing that you're gay is nothing more than mere dreams. I'll bet that you probably didn't know that most heterosexual males have dreams that involve homosexual relations. It's true. Almost all straight men dream of having gay relations from time to time. This doesn't mean that these men are gay, it just means that they've had dreams where they're involved in gay "things".

I think you're smart to wait until you're 18 before telling your parents and family that you're gay. If it turns out that you're not, in fact gay, why put yourself through a huge ordeal that may not be necessary?

themike's picture
Offline
Joined: Jul 21 2004
Posts: 455
Exactly what I was thinking.

Exactly what I was thinking. As long as I don't accidentally yell at them that I like guys, it should all be good. As for me turning out "not gay", I'm not sure thats really a possibility.

__________________

dream it, think it, feel it, be it

Offline
Joined: Dec 26 2003
Posts: 584
No, it isn't.

People who eventually "change their minds" are either just trying to conform, or were plain ol' wrong in the first place.

If you just don't like girls, it probably just means you're maturing very slowly.

However being exclusively, consciously attracted to the same sex... well you can pretty easily work it out.