Dr. Webster
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Ditez-vous «âllo» à mon ami petit!
 
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The FAQ:
Q. When I start up my Mac, I hear the chime and it seems to power up, but there?s no video. Whassup with that?
A. You need a new PRAM battery.
Q. The clock on my Mac is always wrong!
A. You need a new PRAM battery.
Q. AppleTalk keeps reverting to ?Active? and it?s screwing up my network settings!
A. You need a new PRAM battery.
Q. I?m trying to get this incredibly rare and worthless piece of PC hardware that?s specifically designed for only one purpose to work on the Mac. Where do I get drivers?
A. Heh. Good luck finding them.
Q. Where do I find drivers for [Mac part]?
A. Have you tried the manufacturer?s Web site?
Q. Okay, I looked there, and they don?t have them (or the manufacturer is out of business). Where else?
A. Try Googling the hell out of the part name.
Q. Where do you live? or What do you look like? or What do you do? or How much do you weigh?
A. Are you trying to steal my identity or stalk me or something? Go outside.
Q. Can I install Windows on my Mac?
A. Kinda. You can use a Windows emulator, such as Virtual PC, but you can?t delete your MacOS installation and install Windows in its place.
Q. Why?
A. Because the hardware isn?t compatible.
Q. Okay, I replaced the PRAM battery to fix my (insert random problem). It still didn?t fix it!
A. Hit the motherboard reset button.
Q. The what? Where is that?
A. On the motherboard, there?s a small pushbutton. Push it. See if your problem went away.
Q. Is there anywhere I can get a copy of an old version of the Mac OS?
A. Yes and no. Apple provides System 7.5.3 as a free download. Anything newer, however, you have to call Apple and order for an excessively large amount, usually around $100. Why? Apple doesn?t really care about its older stuff. It doesn?t really even care about its not-so-old hardware, such as early iMacs. They just want you to buy a new Mac.
Q. There really should be a FAQ about common questions.
A. Let me know when you?re done writing it.
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