Mid life crisis - Part 2

Glad to hear things are...well, if not entirely stable, at least with direction and optimism.

I've been wondering how you were doing, so it's good to hear you've found a path.

Seems mid-life often leads a man to a car dealership, but it more often ends with him driving a Mustang off the lot. I think you chose better

Well, I have had about enough of cars as I can stand. I am selling more tiny pieces of my soul than I am cars. And every single friggin' helium baloon I have to blow up hurts. And when one escapes, I sigh and turn to the nearest co-worker and flatly state "...There goes my dignity".

Bottom line, I have not sold anything this month and those who do not sell, do not get paid... thus y correlation to being in the third outer layer of hell.

Griping aside, I am leaving the dealership and going to take on some of the ample seasonal work to make ends meet while my fruitless efforts to find a job n IT persist. I pray for another Y2K-like event and that mainframe skills come back in vogue. I cannot afford to move anymore. Alas, a pot of gold at the end of someone else's short-sighted rainbow...

I am set up as a substitute teacher, so I can surely pick up some odd days here and there, but I need more than that. I see a very clear reality before me which invlvoes my return to the restuarant realm. This would take me up a notch or two with respect to my proximity to hell and my curent employment outlook. It has been several years sinceI worked in restaurants but it never really leaves you, kind of like gum staying in your stomache for seven years.

My wife has stayed by my side as my income level has plummeted and the bills pile up. It is never money that couples argue over, it is the lack thereof. When I count my blessings, the fact that my marraige has not fractured under the strain of the last 8 months amazes me, but I know she cannot handle many more setbacks. While there has been more stuff happen than I share here, there has not been any infidelity, just very rough patches of 'Life' with no ease or reprieve on top of an existing blanket of loss and grief over a family death a year ago this December.

I guess my writing here helps me get a few thoughts out and clear my head, regardless if anyone reads it or cares. Dark thoughts? Always, even during the happier times, but I have always seperated what I should do from what I consider doing... I will be okay. I endure, it is what I do and what I always have.

...the more they stay the same.

Okay, I left the dealership. It was one of those mutual things that made sense to do right then and there. They did not like me anyways, I was too nice to the customers.

I am working full time as a substitute teacher, which means I search for assingments and work on a day-by-day basis. It is not a guarantee that I will have work on any given day, and the pay is low. It is tough work and I cringe when I think of every sub I watched get a hard time from a student when I was that age. But at a minimum, it gives me exposure to classrooms and schools while I work on a Master's in Education and seek a high school where I can get a job as a full-time teacher. In the meantime, there is no school for almost two and a half weeks for the holidays, and that means no work and no money.

My searching for seasonal work has not been successful as most the jobs are taken. I will try to pick up some work at my in-laws lawn business but that will only be a few days and little money.

I cannot impress enough onthe younger crowd how important it is to have a good relationship with your significant other. My wife was my best friend of five years, and not having a good relationship, she would have left me months ago as my downward spiral got further along. I mean I am just not the same guy I was a year ago on several different levels. Fundamentally, I am the same, but there is something off about me in retrospect. I am also much more cynical.

I have a few leads on peranant work and will whore myself on the interviews if I get that far...

Well, not much big has changed that I can think of. Still much of the same: working full time as a substitute teacher; taking night classes for a MA in Education; looking for a full time job as a science teacher (since I paid all that money for a BS in Physics) or a gig as some kind of analyst (IT); wife still hates me right now; and I still "own" two houses and get regular phone calls from creditors who wish to let me know their deep affection for me in the form of really hard questions that I keep giving simple answers to (i.e. my broke ass cannot pay you jack right now).

Right now, I feel awesome, better than I have in weeks. earlier this evening, I stopped by Starbucks and had my favorite: a Venti (that's the bigun' ) Mocha Frapuccino. But this time I had them add a shot of Espresso. I felt great. got the laundry folded in no time flat. I felt so jazzed about how good I felt, that about an hour and a half later, I went back , but made it a double shot this time.

It bears noting at this point that I am the kind of person who does not seek out caffine or other stimulants except the occassional cola. I avoid medication since I figure that it is just a waste more often than not. As such, when I do break down and take something, I have no high tolerance to overcome in order to feel the effects (although this is not true with alcohol for some reason... ). Right now I am typing faster than I have in months. I feel great. My hours-long list of chores will be easy tonight.

Maybe I need a greater source of caffine in my normal diet...

While I do not care much for Starbucks as a company, I find the convenience of my favorite beverage (as described above) worth ignoring my feelings. In fact when ever I go, I do declare out load: BOW BEFORE THE BEAN!!

Tonight I did, and it has bestowed its grace up on me.

Oh well, that's all for now.

Here's one word of, possibly flip, advice. Change that photo. Having an ancient, bent-backed, way past mid-life, scrawny Henry Kissinger leering over your blogs puts a certain flavor over the whole thing, not for the better. Instead, maybe do the Dale Carnegie/Anthony Robbins thing and put Superman there, or someone else to that effect. Get out of bed in the morning, beat your chest, and shout, "I'm Superman!" Carpe diem, and all that. Your wife might have a change of heart seeing you running around in blue tights too. It makes them laugh, but it turns them on at the same time.

Oh that was gold I work in one now, at the bottom of the pile.

Good luck Doug, and I kind of agree about the icon. How about a personalised super hero character? "I am Doug-Doug The MIGHTY!! Bow down before my consummate employability!!"

"Innovative Home Solutions" - 0
Me - 1

Got a phone call from a guy who said he could do all these wonderful things for me, my credit and my house and it sounded too good to be true, but I figured I would give the guy a chance to throw his pitch and went through the process stopping just short of giving him the DOB and SSN he requested - all other facts I gave him were not private or available somehow via public record. It bears noting that I was suspicious of this guy from the momment he said what his call was about.

This confirmed my suspicions and I am glad I was wise in my discretion. The guy was smooth and well reheared. He has good at what he was tring to do. However, he had set off a red flag right away with the unsolicited call. He made me more wary when he claimed to have been given his information from my mortgage company (providing me with the correct name), but the loan payoff was some $163k above the note amount and the house was about 700 sqft more than actual. Being wary of this guy, I only validated info that was public (including the amount and sqft). The call ended with a comittment from him to send me (by email) information on his company and its programs so that I could "do my homework" on who his company was and validate his "direct relationship with my mortgage company", thus beinag able to have an informaed discussion with my wife and THEN providing personally identifiable info. His request for the SSN and DOB came at the end and was part of the "I like to send out complete information packs" bit. While he said he would send generic info, he was trying to see if he could send specific info - a reasonable request when a trust relationship already exists, but not so in this case.

Sufice it to say, I never got an email and a follow up call to my mortgage company confirmed that they do not give ANY info to third parties. Ever (save court ordered situations).

This is what bugs me: in this guy trying to reach me, I first tried the number of my apartment, which only one creditor and a few (personal) acquantances have. As a rule, I never give this number out as I hardly ever answer it (unless caller id looks familiar) and there is usually no one home except late. Anyways, after the guy called and found that no one was home, he called my cell phone - the number I DO give out to folks trying to reach me. Because it is a cell phone number, the guy would have had to look me up to find it or have gotten it from someone/somewhere else in order to tie things together.

I have no coherent suspicions about who this guy really was or how he got two phone numbers on me and the correct name of my mortgage company, but it is my firm belief that he had to look at more than one source of information to bring these three facts together.

Anyways, just thought you might appreciate a little tale about someone trying to pull a fast one and not being able to.

BTW, I do have his direct extension...

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never NEVER!! give any information to people who call you! (If I don't recognize the caller, I don't even admit I'm the party who they name. If there's any question at all, I tell them I'll call them back at a number I look up, not one they provide.)

Tell salespeeps to send their pitch in the US mail and you'll look it over at your convenience. Scammers hate using the US Post (you know why!) and you'll never hear another peep out of them. If the contacter is legit, they'll have no qualms mailing you their infos.

dan k

Part of me giving them some information was the 419-Eater in me. We all recall what The Lost Chornicle of Sarnia said about them. [** Note that this is not a bash, but a jovial nod to the humor that transpired on that day for those who have been around long enough and were online that day before it all got deleted **]

While I did request info by email, I admit the USPS is a better route. I only opted for email over USPS as I did not want to share my mailing address with him and I figure I can always adjust my spam filters to cut out the noise. I did give my mortgage amount and square footage of the house, but again, these are public record.

What I did get from this guy was almost 55 minutes of his time (I have unlimited minutes on my cell phone). Having his direct number, I have been toying with the idea of calling him up and trying to get him to send me stuff and seeing how much of his time I can waste.

** It bears noting for the mods/admins that I am not openly endorsing abusive behavior on this thread (or other harrassing/spamming actions), but merely sharing an anectdotal thought with respect to a recent suspicious phone call and the various recourses consumers may take on to address such attempts to get info. That being said...

If I can get his eamil address...

Uh, that's 55 minutes of your time you mean!

Time is the coin of your life, spend it well my friend!

BTW, I never give my address to anyone who calls, if they already have it, fine, they can send anything they want, if not, then adios baby!

dan k

I'll concur not giving address info, even if they want to "confirm" it. I've had a guy call me on my cell phone (that is not billed in my name or anyone living in my house) about my mortgage. He did have the company name right, but said nothing else that confirmed he had any other specific info. He tried to get me to say various things, including my address. I told him flat out that if they really had info from my mortgage company then I don't need to tell them a durn thing. The phone call ended shortly after that, as I guess the guy realized I knew better than to open up to a random call to a cell phone that is not tied to me personally.

The saga continues...