Love Unrequited

I can still remember the day I first heard her laugh.
That pure laughter from the heart rang in my ears.
It was not until much later that year that I finally met her.
I now miss the laughter.

I can still remember the day I first saw her sparkle.
The energy of her soul shining bright in her eyes.
It was then that I met her as our eyes had locked.
I now miss the glow of her eyes.

I can still remember the day I first felt her hand.
The warmth of her touch sent tingles through my hopes.
It was then that she first took my hand.
I now feel a chill in the void of her presence.

I can still remember the day I first smelled her hair.
The fragrance of flowers so sweet yet subtle.
It was then that I first moved in close.
I now miss this too.

I can still remember the day I first tasted her lips.
The magic of that first kiss sparked so much fire.
It was then that we became real.
I now die inside each time she turns away.

What has changed to turn such bliss to a soul in crisis?
The answer is me.
I drove away my soul-mate without even knowing it.
I became a parasite.

I fell down and could not see.
I was hurt and could not feel.
I reached out, but could not touch.
I was told, but could not listen.
It was under my nose, but I could not smell it.

I leaned on her just a little too much.
I did not nurture her emotions as she did mine.
I was lost and had no focus.
Without knowing it, I drained her soul to maintain my own.

When she finally broke, I was just starting to come 'round.
I was getting my center as she was in free-fall.
She lost her footing and I did not see it.
Too weak to hold on, she let go just before I woke up.

Growth is a choice.
We once chose to grow together.
We both made choices that grew us apart.
I since made a choice to grow back towards her.

Her pain was too deep and the years had taken their toll.
She missed her smile.
she missed her laughter.
She missed her self.

She could not share my choice to grow back.
She called it quits to try to heal.
Too many bad things in her life traced back to me.
Too long had I hurt her and not made it right.

There is no point in fighting since we reap what I sowed.
At least she wants to stay friends since that part had been good.
It softens the word "divorce" as much as can be done.
It still hurts so deeply.

If there ever will be another us, it will come from this friendship.
It must be built on something new.
I must grow in time.
I love her as much as ever, but alas it is love unrequited.

[EDIT]
For those who wondered - yes, I am ok and yes, I am getting 'proper assistance' in coping with my issues.
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