Tomorrow is Friday!

I was the judge for the shotput event at a junior high track meet today. It was fun, but when I realised I had fun being a judge, I came to the realization that I need a life. Nothing else today struck me as interesting.

This weekend looks prime fucked up. Saturday I'm working, I have no idea what the plan is on Sunday or Monday, except for I'm playing with the Jazz Combo on monday at 7:30 for all the teachers. Which brings me to the subject of jazz band and how I'm really not sure if I want to be in it any more. I mean, it's just pissing me off. I'm not motivated to become what people want me to be in that class, which is as good as they all are. And it's not like I'm calling them elitist or anything; the fact is that they're the best musical group I've ever been a part of, and they deserve a fucking amazing drummer, which I'm not entirley sure I'm up to being. I'm not especially talented, or really driven. I just love music, and that's my inspiration, but now rollins is making us play latin stuff which I can't really dig. I want more jazz, man! That, and I'm way far behind everybody else in that room as far as theory goes. Shit, I really don't even read music that much. I need to work really hard and improve my musical skill, which I'm working really hard on.

Too much fighting. Why is it that we all just can't be friends and stop bickering over petty things and being all secretive, as in not telling other people what you're doing and shit. It just seems like we're all best friends and worst enemys at the same time, which if nothing else is really stressfull. We need to get it through our heads that everybody makes different choices, and that while some of them are bad ones, respect is a key thing for friends to have for each other. Respect and trust. Last year was full of so much "group" warfare; as in various inter-clique cliques fighting with ech other about dumb shit. I'm giultier than most, I'm a paranoid, irratable, grade A asshole son of a bitch. At least I'm trying to be a little more relaxed on some things.

All I want is to have a good time, without fucking fighting over every little thing, and having to keep what I'm doing a secret from my other friends, because I think that they'll hate me or something else. Everythign is too complicated. Maybe I'll take my Monday off and spend it in my garden, meditating and clearing my mind.

I've spoke my mind. Time for you to, now (does anybody even read this? I never get any commentia over my thoughts. I like response, let's me know what other people are thinking, just as I let them know what I'm thinking)


**Song of the moment: "No Jodes" by The Irie Beats**