Please, anyone that can give me any peace of mind, share it.
She and I were going out for 4 years. She loved me, I loved her. Sometime last week, she tells me she has no intimate feelings for me at all and that she never wants to date me again. She says she's never been happier.
Devastated, it's the closest word to describe how I feel. I can only imagine one other scenario that would make me feel this much pain and frustration, if I found out my whole family suddenly died and I was the only one left.
I've always had severe depression, even before I met her. Anyone thats ever had or known someone personally that has severe depression can imagine what this is doing to me.
The hardest thing to handle about this whole situation is that I still have strong feelings for her. Up untill last week I could imagine every stage of my life with her. And everything she ever said led me to believe that she felt the same way.
Suicide has crossed my mind often, and I've delt with the urges before. (before I met her) And before you all alert the authorities, I am seeing at least two proffesionals regularly to try and council me through this.
I've talked to her several times since she broke it off. Sometimes we have regular conversations about our day, other times I fall to my knees in tears begging her to love me again. She is very hostile towards me, but insists she cares alot about me, and is scared for my life.
She started by telling me she never loved me. Then told me she loved me once, but fell out of love with me. She admits she's happier than ever. Does anyone know what I'm going through?
Addition: I think I'm having panick attacks, I keep expecting, hoping she'll call or walk into my room and say she made a mistake. It's making me really anxious and tense.