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Ever feel like a Macintosh Jesus?

Submitted by vantage point on September 3, 2005 - 4:59pm. 680x0 Macs and Lisa

Have you ever felt like a Macintosh Jesus?

"A Macintosh Jesus?" You ask. "What the heck is a Macintosh Jesus?"

I'll be perfectly frank, I have no idea what a Macintosh Jesus is, but I do know what a Macintosh is and I do know who Jesus was. The Macintosh is a line of computers made by Apple Computer. Jesus was, according to Christian faith, the son of God. Jesus also built a nasty reputation for being able to raise the dead and he didn't win any popularity contests for this bizarro feat. On the contrary, people of the day thought him to be something of a freak.

Anyway, back to the topic of this discussion... The ability to raise a Macintosh from the dead. This is an ability I've come to recognize that I possess in some other worldly capacity.

Example:

I bought used Beige G3 and a PowerMac 9500. The Beige G3 was said to have been problematic and unable to boot an OS. I brought the machine home and it has worked like a champ since day one. The 9500, on the other hand, was fully functional when I received it, but died after I had performed some exploratory surgery on it. Much to my delight, the next time I laid my hands on the tall cool one, it booted like it had been reborn.

This brings me to my most recent Macintosh acquisition: An old Bondi Blue iMac. The iMac was purchased to a friend for $20 with a non-functioning CDROM drive, and no keyboard or mouse. We brought the machine to my home and plugged it in. Sure enough, the iMac did boot and the CDROM drive did not work.

The friend that had bought iMac, later brought over a keyboard and mouse for the machine. We booted it up, played with it, and the CDROM still wouldn't work. My friend was going to return it to where he had purchased it for a store credit. I said, "Hey senor PC user, I will take that iMac off your hands for cash." He accepted.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I placed a CD in the drive one day just for the hell of it, and the CDROM drive has worked fine since that day. I am unable to determine precisely when the iMac healed itself, but it appears to have occurred either the moment I retained owenership of the machine, or shortly thereafter.

There's the 3Com LinkSwitch 1000 that I bought too. It would not work at all. The status LEDS would not light up, it would not establish a link with connected ethernet devices, and it appeared to do nothing more than whir its little fans and blow a lot of hot air. Anyway, one day I plugged it in and it worked like a champ. It continues to work like a champ to this very day.

Perhaps the broken computer fairies visit my home in the wee hours and repair my equipment while I'm sleeping... Perhaps I'm just a whimsical soul that is at one with whimsical electronic equipment. Perhaps, I am a Macintosh Jesus.

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token's picture

So tell me, what does this ha

Submitted by token on September 3, 2005 - 5:03pm.

So tell me, what does this have to do with 68k Macs? After all, this is the 68k forum. Eye-wink

» The 'fritter critter formerly known as guskid.

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coius's picture

hehe

Submitted by coius on September 3, 2005 - 7:13pm.
Quote:
Jesus was, according to Christian faith, the son of God. Jesus also built a nasty reputation for being able to raise the dead and he didn't win any popularity contests for this bizarro feat. On the contrary, people of the day thought him to be something of a freak.

Despite being a christian, I find this extremely funny. It's a different way of looking at it. That's the most interesting way of looking at it too. I hope people don't flame you for that. Besides, a lot of people need to loosen up these days and look at the funny aspects of life.

Remember, even god has a sense of humor... He made me Eye-wink

EDIT: For some reason, the words "Buddy Christ"(dogma) came to mind, and the phrase "help me Jeevus" (simpsons) too Sticking out tongue

» troubleshootnow.com. When you need to troubleshoot NOW! Forum site for macs and PCs. We are happy to help you troubleshoot. Home WebPage: coius.info <-Served off an iMac in my roo

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Re: So tell me, what does this ha

Submitted by vantage point on September 3, 2005 - 7:24pm.
token wrote:
So tell me, what does this have to do with 68k Macs? After all, this is the 68k forum. Eye-wink

Nothing really, save there's been a lot of talk recently on Applefritter about dead Macintoshes. I find that my Macs tend to heal themselves and I see no problem with giving myself credit for something that my Mac did on its own. Eye-wink

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eeun's picture

too bizarre.

Submitted by eeun on September 3, 2005 - 9:37pm.

» Jack of all Trades, Tinkerer and Dabbler in the Obscure and Nonsensical.
3 stories posted
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merty's picture

A bit Strange

Submitted by merty on September 4, 2005 - 4:17am.

That is a bit strange about macs having the power to fix the themselves.
but if you continue to get macs and fix them up that would be sweet.
Smiling

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DrBunsen's picture

Nonononono. This is all part

Submitted by DrBunsen on September 4, 2005 - 7:14pm.

Nonononono. This is all part of Evil Steve's pact with Satan. (about half way down the page)

A few Macs are factory cursed by santerias on a secret assembly line in Haiti. At a random point in the future, they drop into a special "deep sleep" mode that resembles death, just long enough for the owner to give up on them and thow them out. After a while they rise from the dumpster and shamble off to the nearest Apple Center to be reassigned to "other duties". And you don't even want to KNOW what they are.

I find a good soak in a holy water/hellbane solution for a day or so does the trick. Leave to dry on hallowed ground for at least a week before powering up. Then immediately go into the extensions folder and delete "GraveDirt", "RoosterKill" and "CharmLib". You should be right as rain.

Don't forget to bless the System Folder :-)

» Damn the Torx screws, full speed ahead!
Apple and Wireless FAQ

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iantm's picture

A strange phenomenon

Submitted by iantm on September 4, 2005 - 7:21pm.

I've experienced this too. People will give me "dead" equipment that won't power on, will lock up, or misbehave in some other horrible horrible way. When it comes to me, the machine will usually work fine. This is all fine and good until you are an Apple service tech and the issue comes back when you return the computer to its owner. It's a blessing and a curse. I've had iBooks come to me that "won't boot" or lock up when launching Safari. When I test them, I find no issues. At first, i'd return it to the student with a NTF code on the repair sheet. Now I just reimage and call it a day. 90% of the time, I've found issues to be of an environmental nature. i.e. iBook that only has weird video and overheating issues when surrounded by a down comforter (took five times in and out of service before student admitted this fact).

- iantm

» - iantm
ACDT & ACPT
MacBook Pro 15" 1.83 ghz
iBook G4 14" 1.33 ghz
07 focus zx3
Cannondale M700

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I get that too - I rescue a l

Submitted by sfinro on September 5, 2005 - 8:32am.

I get that too - I rescue a lot of my equipment from the trash that seems to work perfectly fine - I know it isn't really Mac related, but I've just rescued a nice Canon BJC-3000 printer from a trash pile, plugged it in, and it prints better than the venerable DeskJet that I've been using for years.

The amp for my stereo system was given to me after spending almost 20 years in a friends basement after it mysteriously stopped working - I got it, plugged it in to some very nice 3-way speakers (rescued from the trash), and the 35-year-old amp works like a dream (and sounds damn good too).

I also once found a perfectly good Bondi iMac in a dumpster - it was a bit scuffed up and dirty, but, after giving it a keyboard, mouse and OS 8.6 install, it was my main Mac system and worked without a hitch until I moved overseas and had to leave it behind.

» Romana: 9600 with Sonnet G3/400. 384mb RAM, 8gb + 4.5gb HDD, OS 10.3.9
Davros: Beige G3/266. 384mb RAM, 10gb HDD, OS 10.3.9
TARDIS: Wallstreet 233. 96mb RAM, 4gb HDD, OS 9.2.2 (currently non-functional)

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لإسكندرية

Submitted by word03 on September 5, 2005 - 9:48am.

Dr Bunsen - you'd be surprised how many "graveyard" machines we have at our store, alive and well, performing day-to-day tasks just like they were never abandoned by their original owners.

Managed Resistance - my service manager has the same uncanny abilities. He just has to come over and watch me replicate a fault to fix it. Weird.

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CaryMG's picture

This Has *Exactly Ta Do With 68K Macintosh Computers & Jesus ...

Submitted by CaryMG on September 5, 2005 - 1:01pm.

Ya have a 68000 Macintosh computer?

Ya want Jesus *in that 68000 Macintosh computer?

Well, pilgrim -- 'twould be thine boon to point yon browser *here > http://www.lamprey-systems.com/hot.shtml [It's The 3rd Entry Down]

Later!
Smiling Smiling Smiling

» "The Only Thing Necessary For Evil To Triumph Is For Good Men To Do Nothing." -- Sir Edmund Burke

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Re: This Has *Exactly Ta Do With 68K Macintosh Computers & Jesus

Submitted by vantage point on September 5, 2005 - 4:37pm.
Groneveldt wrote:
Ya have a 68000 Macintosh computer?

Ya want Jesus *in that 68000 Macintosh computer?

Well, pilgrim -- 'twould be thine boon to point yon browser *here > http://www.lamprey-systems.com/hot.shtml [It's The 3rd Entry Down]

Later!
Smiling Smiling Smiling

I downloaded that program years ago. It was kind of funny, but nothing that a Christian would find terribly amusing. At least not if your ideal Jesus is a non-smoker, etc. Eye-wink

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