My shitty day **emo time!**
I know that this will evict a good deal of angry commentia from my friends (all of which are the best on earth, and I could never ask for better), but I'm going to go on and on about why I should be ptied because my life sucks.
perhaps it's when I noticed that people always interrupt me when I speak. It's not just something someone does; most people do it. It's like nothing I'm saying really is that important, and whatever the other person has to say is far more important. Maybe nothing I say is that important.
And then, I get the feeling sometimes that what I'm saying isn't really taken that seriously. It's like, I'm the "add on" friend, who's around when you want to have a good time, but isn't someone you wait for in the hall or something. Now, I'm making an assumption here that I am too... "clingy" isn't the right word, but something to that effect. Maybe I expect too much of friends, and this is an unfounded complaint, but I get the feeling that people are only listening to me because they don't want me to get pissy and depressed. I ought to stop taking, unless it's something important, I think. Maybe I just shouldn't talk at all.
I guess I got one of those revelations, as it were, where I decided that if my life story became a movie, I wouldn't even be the main character. I'd probably have a cameo, or something, but the movie would bhe about the other people in my life, who are more interesting than I am really. I used to think I was a divers and strange guy, but when I examined myself, I'm pretty mundane. I'm not weird in a "trendy" sense. I'm just weird in a "what the hell?" sense. My interests are somewhat bland, really:
-Music: Drumming, mainly, but genre-wise rap (and it's ilk) and country are really the two only things I dislike. I generally lean towards ska, punk, harcore, swing, rock, and techno-esque stuff.
-Computers: Less of an obsession as of late. I'm semi-skilled with a 'puter. Nothing to really open anybodys eyes, though. Standard nerd, and I don't even like anime.
-Reading: I enjoy a good book, but really looking at it, I'm not well read. I lack the ability to concentrate and focus, thus making it hard for me to read the classics and really appreciate fine literature. Short of bashing myself, I'm not smart enough to grasp the finer intracacies of literature.
-Gardening & design: A passion of mine, but I'm not incredibly skilled. I like nature, and I think that this summer I'm going to get into it a lot more.
There you have it. Boiled down, I'm kind of average. Nothing terribly exciting at all, and I really can't see why people like me. Maybe I'm funny, but most people are. I'm not complaining, some people are just some ways, it's just that at the moment I'm feeling kinda hollow and uninteresting. That, and I noticed I started a lot of sentences with "I". That's silly. I guess I just need to really focus on things, because a lot interests me, but I don't focus well, so I get a big intrest in something, but never expand on it.
Oh well. Maybe I should just come to terms with the fact I'm not really that great. Feel free to make comments or whatver, although you (whoever you are) probably haven't even read this far.
- DoctorMemory's blog
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