I never thought of myself as a manager...
I have been looking for a steady job for some time, and since I am not up on certification, I can't really get a job in the computer area right now. Although, i have managed my homebrew business, I have not been getting much business, as on occasions, some of my clients move (no one wants to be in this city) or I have not been able to advertise as much, and am probably not totally sure how to run a company right to get people. I started out with a lot of clients, mainly through reputation and the word_of_mouth advertising, but It has been getting slower, and have now found myself looking for work and shutting down the home business for now.
I started applying about 3 months ago, as a way to pay for college, and to support myself and hopefully get some money into my account. Until I found myself going for an interview with Target Corporation.
Now, i never considered a job in management, but I have now been offered a higher salary than I have probably had in my life up to this date, and find it kind of exciting to move to another area outside of my normal comfort zone, however, this places a lot on my plate that I have never wandered into the territory of. I am not even sure how I would do at the job, but am looking forward to seeing if I can make it within that.
I have an interview on Thursday @ 10am with the store head manager, and will be going through about 4-6 interviews and could take up to about 2-3 hours. depending on if I advance to the next level. I SO want the job, but am dreading at if I will fail at it, and now that I see my position being moved up to manager, i probably can't back down without there being no room for advancement in the future, having them think I can't handle the responsability.
So, right now, I am sitting scared at if I will make it, or if I will fail at it, and start the job search all over again, but with a major mark against me for being laid off due to not being able to accomplish a job that I was hired for.
I am used to working for myself, where I am leading myself and I know what decisions will affect me directly, but have never considered having people under me, and don't know what I would do if there was something major I had to confront. And it has made me lie awake the past few nights scared of what will happen.
I have a few friends that are managers, some with trucking companies, some with newspaper offices, and they have been successful, but they have had a lot of experience with dealing with people, and when they started, i remember hearing how hard it was to deal with people if they had to fire them. I am not the most tactful person that I know of, and I tend to have trouble telling people bad news. But it will come with the job if I have to make a decision like that.
I guess what I am saying, is I saw myself looking at a whole change of what my job career would be if I keep at this, and actually like it, or if I would fail and have to start all over again. A blemish on a career is NOT something you want to have when you are just starting. especially at the age of 22.
I'm sorry I am rambling in this blog, but it would feel better to get it off my chest on the internet than to tell some of my friends. yes, they are managers, but I have seen them take charge, and sometimes it scares me about what managers do. And I hope I will never become one that employees will hate...
Anyways, thanks for reading this, even if it is to ramble, and wish me luck!