You know what I hate?`

When you are writing a new profile, and you click on the button to submit it, and it gives you the fcking annoying message saying "your profile is too long so cut it the shit out!"

Thus, the trimming commences.

Me not really being a minimalist person all the time, it is hell trying to decide what to keep and what can go. Do I really need all of the lyrics for Minor Threat's "Straight Edge"? Or will the first two lines suffice. We all know that I don't smoke don't &*^% don't drink, at least I can &*^%ing think. (I'd probably be sexually active if I was attractive and not shy, but since when do I complain?) Then, must I acknowledge that I'm in a band with a cool acronym:


I.E. S.O.S, however, w/o means "without, so S.w/O.S means Sex Without Seatbelts, or for you old fashioned poops, "Save Our Souls" which is aptly named. For when you listen to use, your sould will need saving.

But, where was I? Ahh, yes. Listen.

So, I've chosen that which I feel represents me the best, and I have submitted it to the central hell of AOL's Instant Messenger server (ICQ really may be better, but it will never catch on. Why, I don't know.) Whoopie! Now random people can take 5 seconds to read some drivel. And yes, I do feel satisfied. I have come out of the bettle with only the juciest morsels of information remaining in my profile, all the excess grizzle and cartilige plucked away. I am pure. I am divine.

I am Sound.

Still, I feel a twinge of remorse for those things that are left behind, for those that did not make it. Those stray binary didgits that tell a chip to tell a gun (basically) to shoot phosphors onto a piece of glass to make a dot that will (in alliegence with other like dots) form a letter, which will (in alligence with other like letters) form a word. Which I will delete, because it's making my profile too damn fat.

AOL is the information anorexic.

It can not have any excess fat. Any information which will add to it's twisted self image that it is a bloated ugly beast (which it really is, but let's be a little forgiving for the sake of poetry here, ok?) must be cut away immediatley, lest all hell break loose and AIM explode.

I could circumvent this entire issue by actually getting off of my lazy ass (or rest on it, in front of a keyboard) and hack together a website (which I am in the process of doing) that could contain limitless orts (ort is a real word; look it up. I dare you.) of trivial information (does it occur to you that I heavily rely on parenthases?) that would appeal to all, as wellas none. Hell, I can even put movies, pictures, and sounds up on one of them web sites. Hot damn!

But, as of yet, I don't.

So, I am limited to the depressingly small and limited prfile space that AOL provides for me. I must weed my small patch of information garden with extrime prejudice. For those who look upon it, know that you are looking at a very well kept plot of land, manicured down to the last pixel (I really ought to know more tech things than I do, I am supposed to be a geek, after all.)

Hell, I shouldn't complain. It's free after all.


**Song of the moment: Symphony No. 9 in E Minor - Largo by Dvorak, performed by the Radio Symphony Orchestra**