A QUESTION ABOUT BEING SHY
MODS please understand there are likely quite a few other 'fritter critters that this applies to, and that's why I am posting it instead of going IRC. There is nothing here that deals with a particular instance or person I am trying to single out or even name but just general thoughts and repeated occurances from my experience. I'm citing the post on Asperger Syndrome as a precident for this type of discussion.
I'm an introverted sort of guy. Have pretty much always been a bit shy and it takes more effort to approach people than a lot of other guys I know. That said, I am pretty darn secure with who I am, and I am happy to be who I am overall. I seem to leave a trail of friends wherever I go-- When I would work somewhere, or when I have a place that I visit a lot l have been told that they remember who I am because I am generally positive, happy and treated them kindly. I make it a point to spend time with friends I already know about once a week and have a coffee place I hang at to see new people and plan out my projects at least 2 or 3 nights a week.
I just graduated with an associate's degree last year on top of a seperate bachelor's the year before so I've only had time for a few girlfriends over the years between the time I was in high school and college. I care about myself too much to settle for someone (with serious personal issues, a controling or obnoxious personality, self-centeredness etc) because I have high standards.
More and more I've been finding myself talking to some pretty ladies and conversing a bit. I've finally been freed up enough to do it after graduating. If It looks like I am getting a warm reception I invite them to have coffee or lunch etc with me, at any rate somewhere public and low pressure. Often we would get to the point of exchanging numbers so we know how to reach eachother.
Maybe the next day or a day after, at the latest I'd try to reach her by phone. I might try calling two or three different times of the day to see when she was home or available. I don't want to call more than that because it might be a little scarry for her to see a phone number pop up on caller id a half million times. I've been consistently getting voicemail, turned off phones, and ringing... and NO responses. ZILCH. It is as if these ladies fall off the face of the earth. Even given a call a day for another two or three days.
THE CRUX OF THE QUESTION:
I'm having trouble figuring weather it has to do with flaky ladies, or if I could be missing some kind of social cue or something and I am being blown off because of it(which does not make sense if they've already given me their number etc. If I were them I wouldn't give my number to someone I though was a creep!)
-or- could it be something else?
perhaps how they percieve shy guys in general?
the only other wildcard I can think of here is that I have ADHD and may seem distracted sometimes.
lt kinda hurts to see it happen so much
Anyone have any ideas?